obsession with perfection

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This time at home has made me realize how obsessed I am with perfection. I need to have the perfect schedule that allows me to get as much done as possible, perfect meditation sessions where I am present the entire time, perfect workout routines that make me look flawless, perfectly executed assignments and tasks and projects, perfect social interactions and perfect art projects. I chase perfection with the expectation that I will catch up to it. But perfection will always be out of reach because that is its nature. Perfection is just an idea, not an achievement. Because even if I were to reach perfection, it would still not be good enough, it would still not make me feel worthy in the way that I often imagine it will. Nothing in life can be flawless or perfect. That is not why we are here. We are here to experience, to learn and grow, to flow with change, to explore. I want to stop chasing the abstract imaginary concept of perfection, to stop running. I want to stop and rest, to look up at the sky, to be in the world around me and let it wash over me, to melt into it and just exist. 

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